Well I am back and as the title suggests, actually does not suggest but informs that this is the second time in the day that I am blogging. I don’t know why I am doing this and frankly the why I not sumthin that interests me.
Unlike my future blogs, this one has a topic( for a change) and that is :appearances
The title may not really be apt but what the hell. What I really intend to talk about is the importance of looking good, or the importance that society seems to attach to looking good, or my interpretation as to what importance looking good holds for me. I suspect the post will contain something about all the three without no real interconnetction or flow which is exactly how I want it to be.
Comin back to the topic—everywhere I see ppl r obsessed with looking good. Before I really get into it, let me define what I mean when I say looking good. What I am describing here as looking good is an effort to see that everything about u is just perfect. The clothes r not decided depending on what appears at the top of ur wardrobe. They have been decided after real careful thinking even tho the occasion might be as simple as going out for a walk. Yes I have seen ppl who do that. The factors that r taken into consideration before deciding on what to wear when goin for a walk are as follows:
The clothes should not look too old, too new, too crumpled or too neatly pressed. The colors have to be just right, they need to match or the shirt and trousers when worn together should give the appearance of been given a fair bit of thought. The hair has to be neatly combed, not just neatly, properly with the right amount of bounce, shine and whtever else that hair can ever have. What I fail to understand here is the y part of all this. Y is all this fuss over looks necessary? Isn’t it enough if u just look lookable enough that ppl need not be repelled by ur very appearance? And I don’t think the colour of ur clothes has anything to do with it. So, as long as what u r wearing is decent, as long as nobody has any problems with it, it does not really matter what u wear. Yes sometimes it is necessary to dress up, to look good, to appear as if there has been a lot of thought behind ur appearance. But not always. In fact not at most times. Given a choice between being comfortable and looking good, I would opt for the former. But I know of a lot of ppl who wud happily go for the latter. And mostly the two don’t go hand in hand. If and when they do, fine. No problems with that. I know this attitude will not endeavor me a lot to ladies but then I don’t go out looking to impress ppl do i? and if looking good is what is going to get me there, I am not sure I want to be there at all. This can also be taken as a warning or indication of sorts to anyone who is lookin out for me(I am not sure there r any but still whts the harm) that I will not even try looking good for general occasions. If it something special then I mite give it a shot but still there r no guarantees of success.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Just like that once again and maybe a little more
this blog comes in the middle of my PREPARATORY LEAVE. the pl is written in capital only to emphasise the importance of this little period of 20 or so days in the life of an engineer. anyone reading this should not try to find any hidden meanings in the capitals for this is not modern art and there is no hidden meaning here( still if anyone can manage to find any do tell me abt it).
anyways i am writing today only because i felt like writing. i have been planning to write since a long time but could not find time for it until today.
now tht i have found the time, i intend to make it count ( tho wht i am hoping to achieve when i say make it count beats me). as my previous post promises ill start with a review, discussion, article, debate, criticism- whtever u choose to call it- of the PRELIMS. now this caps certainly has a hidden meaning. to those who cannot decipher it- think of it as being written with the same intention as the PL in caps and if ur an engineer especially one from VESIT, u will get the point. in my previous post i remember mentioning tht the prelims is the biggest farce in the name of an examination tht i have witnessed. never before have i been so truthful in my life. this prelim was just as important as it is for saurav ganguly to pass a fitness test before playing a match. sarcasm aside(tho it not entirely possible), if i try to find one positive, one small little tiny positive out of the prelims, it wud have to be my enthusiasm for the maths paper(for reasons tht most of those reading will not be able to guess and it is certainly not a desire to do well in atleast one paper) and the resulting proficiency in maths tht i gained out of it. tho the objective tht i had in mind for writing the paper has not been fulfilled bcoz i did not get the corrected version of my answer paper( i doubt whether the teacher has considered them important enuf to be used as toilet paper even). of course the only good thing coming out of that period of 5 days (not the prelim mind u) is tht i finally for the first time in my life managed a trip to a remote place on the face of earth that some fool named kalyan coz tht is certainly wht happens by the time u get there( this joke mite be understood by those who know a smattering of hindi) and the trip was not without incident.
but the prelims is over. the pl is on in full swing. my time table is out. for once i have said something good for the mu coz they have come out with a wonderful timetable tht has made my pl wonderfully easy and not the hard times tht i had envisaged it to be sometime in the recent past. so the actual reason y i am writing this post today is tht i want an account of my pl so far(finally got to the main reason. took a long time coming).
this sem the beginning of the PL was marked by the auspicious festival of Diwali which is in general a very special festival and this Diwali was my best ever for a variety of reasons most of which i would not like to go into at this point of time, maybe sometime later. one of the main reasons which i can certainly include here is tht i had my house all to myself with noone arnd me. my parents could not have chosen a better time to go on vacation. i spent most of diwali with myself and my friends which was exactly wht i wanted to do.
diwali came and diwali went. during tht time studies happened and then again studies did not happen(plz do not ask me wht this is supposed to mean, i just felt like putting it in tht way) but i was not really concerned and still am not coz of the timetable being so good and my academics being in a generally good condition.
after diwali something happened tht has had me confused ever since. my nani( for those who do not know hindi-my maternal grandmother) passed away. she was well above 80 with already a close brush with death once in the past and so this was not unexpected. even then the news came to me as a surprise and a little bit of shock coming as it did at 3 in the morning. bcoz of tht my mom left immediately on the next flight and my dad left soon after which once again left me all alone( my brother was there but we lead separate lives so tht was not so much of a problem) and it still is like tht as of today. my mom dad will be back by thursday after which life will get back to normal (normal meaning as it was when they r generally here- not good or bad or any such thing). food has been one problem these 2 weeks as i have had to shuffle from one place to another for lunches and dinners and also a lot of dinners in restaurants where 8 out of 10 times(yeah i have been to restaurants for dinner almost 10 times in 2 weeks) i have ended up eating pav bhaji. i hereby promise tht for the remainder of the pl i shall not touch pav bhaji and this is one promise i intend to keep( sounds familiar.........i say this all the time but it never happens so all the best to me). the confusion is because i have enojyed this little period where i was alone but i am not sure whether i was supposed to enjoy it bcoz of the circumstances which led to my being alone. tht is a question tht will probably never be answered and i am not sure whether i even want an answer now. whts done is done. if wht i have done is wrong then maybe someone close to me will also enjoy when i am no more but tht hopefully is a long way off so no point in thinking abt it rite now.
so in this fashion half my pl is over. it has been one really wonderful half pl again for reasons i cannot or maybe do not want to include here rite now. watch out for the reason later coz i am sure there will be one post explaining them tho i am not sure when tht will be.
academically also as i have already written earlier it has been good. how good is something tht only my results will tell and i do not bother a huge lot abt them anyways.
one final point tht i dont know y but i want to include here. this post is not a record of ne emotional hormonal psychological pseudo-psychological or ne odr such imbalance. in fact it is the exact opposite (which is also a kind of imbalance but not like the earlier ones which this blog is full of) and so this makes in 2 in a row tht i have written when i have been feeling good which is a good sign coz tht means i have not felt any such lows since a pretty long time which again confirms the fact tht my lows have something to do with the college and i am generally happier when there is no college. it is also a good thing for this blog coz it is no longer just a blaring record of troubled times but a true companion in all my good and bad times. phew!!!! tht was some final point.
i seem to have written a lot here. i think this is my biggest blog to date i am not really sure but i have just gone one writing whtever i have felt and so the size does matter.
once again i wud like to reiterate tht this is not a bedtime story and so is not meant to entertain. if anyone reading it(i dont knw y i am including this coz i dont knw many ppl who do, in fact i dont knw any who do) finds it boring or has anything to complain abt it he or she may do it at
The prime ministers relief fund
p.o.box no 11023
delhi-1
coz complaining abt it here is tantamount to bhes ke aage been bajana(again only for those who know hindi and i am not able to satisfyingly translate it in english) and if anyone is willing to do tht then be my guest.
till then
bye gn shubh ratri shaba khair and do take very good care of yourself(makes a very good good bye line even tho it has been directly copied).
anyways i am writing today only because i felt like writing. i have been planning to write since a long time but could not find time for it until today.
now tht i have found the time, i intend to make it count ( tho wht i am hoping to achieve when i say make it count beats me). as my previous post promises ill start with a review, discussion, article, debate, criticism- whtever u choose to call it- of the PRELIMS. now this caps certainly has a hidden meaning. to those who cannot decipher it- think of it as being written with the same intention as the PL in caps and if ur an engineer especially one from VESIT, u will get the point. in my previous post i remember mentioning tht the prelims is the biggest farce in the name of an examination tht i have witnessed. never before have i been so truthful in my life. this prelim was just as important as it is for saurav ganguly to pass a fitness test before playing a match. sarcasm aside(tho it not entirely possible), if i try to find one positive, one small little tiny positive out of the prelims, it wud have to be my enthusiasm for the maths paper(for reasons tht most of those reading will not be able to guess and it is certainly not a desire to do well in atleast one paper) and the resulting proficiency in maths tht i gained out of it. tho the objective tht i had in mind for writing the paper has not been fulfilled bcoz i did not get the corrected version of my answer paper( i doubt whether the teacher has considered them important enuf to be used as toilet paper even). of course the only good thing coming out of that period of 5 days (not the prelim mind u) is tht i finally for the first time in my life managed a trip to a remote place on the face of earth that some fool named kalyan coz tht is certainly wht happens by the time u get there( this joke mite be understood by those who know a smattering of hindi) and the trip was not without incident.
but the prelims is over. the pl is on in full swing. my time table is out. for once i have said something good for the mu coz they have come out with a wonderful timetable tht has made my pl wonderfully easy and not the hard times tht i had envisaged it to be sometime in the recent past. so the actual reason y i am writing this post today is tht i want an account of my pl so far(finally got to the main reason. took a long time coming).
this sem the beginning of the PL was marked by the auspicious festival of Diwali which is in general a very special festival and this Diwali was my best ever for a variety of reasons most of which i would not like to go into at this point of time, maybe sometime later. one of the main reasons which i can certainly include here is tht i had my house all to myself with noone arnd me. my parents could not have chosen a better time to go on vacation. i spent most of diwali with myself and my friends which was exactly wht i wanted to do.
diwali came and diwali went. during tht time studies happened and then again studies did not happen(plz do not ask me wht this is supposed to mean, i just felt like putting it in tht way) but i was not really concerned and still am not coz of the timetable being so good and my academics being in a generally good condition.
after diwali something happened tht has had me confused ever since. my nani( for those who do not know hindi-my maternal grandmother) passed away. she was well above 80 with already a close brush with death once in the past and so this was not unexpected. even then the news came to me as a surprise and a little bit of shock coming as it did at 3 in the morning. bcoz of tht my mom left immediately on the next flight and my dad left soon after which once again left me all alone( my brother was there but we lead separate lives so tht was not so much of a problem) and it still is like tht as of today. my mom dad will be back by thursday after which life will get back to normal (normal meaning as it was when they r generally here- not good or bad or any such thing). food has been one problem these 2 weeks as i have had to shuffle from one place to another for lunches and dinners and also a lot of dinners in restaurants where 8 out of 10 times(yeah i have been to restaurants for dinner almost 10 times in 2 weeks) i have ended up eating pav bhaji. i hereby promise tht for the remainder of the pl i shall not touch pav bhaji and this is one promise i intend to keep( sounds familiar.........i say this all the time but it never happens so all the best to me). the confusion is because i have enojyed this little period where i was alone but i am not sure whether i was supposed to enjoy it bcoz of the circumstances which led to my being alone. tht is a question tht will probably never be answered and i am not sure whether i even want an answer now. whts done is done. if wht i have done is wrong then maybe someone close to me will also enjoy when i am no more but tht hopefully is a long way off so no point in thinking abt it rite now.
so in this fashion half my pl is over. it has been one really wonderful half pl again for reasons i cannot or maybe do not want to include here rite now. watch out for the reason later coz i am sure there will be one post explaining them tho i am not sure when tht will be.
academically also as i have already written earlier it has been good. how good is something tht only my results will tell and i do not bother a huge lot abt them anyways.
one final point tht i dont know y but i want to include here. this post is not a record of ne emotional hormonal psychological pseudo-psychological or ne odr such imbalance. in fact it is the exact opposite (which is also a kind of imbalance but not like the earlier ones which this blog is full of) and so this makes in 2 in a row tht i have written when i have been feeling good which is a good sign coz tht means i have not felt any such lows since a pretty long time which again confirms the fact tht my lows have something to do with the college and i am generally happier when there is no college. it is also a good thing for this blog coz it is no longer just a blaring record of troubled times but a true companion in all my good and bad times. phew!!!! tht was some final point.
i seem to have written a lot here. i think this is my biggest blog to date i am not really sure but i have just gone one writing whtever i have felt and so the size does matter.
once again i wud like to reiterate tht this is not a bedtime story and so is not meant to entertain. if anyone reading it(i dont knw y i am including this coz i dont knw many ppl who do, in fact i dont knw any who do) finds it boring or has anything to complain abt it he or she may do it at
The prime ministers relief fund
p.o.box no 11023
delhi-1
coz complaining abt it here is tantamount to bhes ke aage been bajana(again only for those who know hindi and i am not able to satisfyingly translate it in english) and if anyone is willing to do tht then be my guest.
till then
bye gn shubh ratri shaba khair and do take very good care of yourself(makes a very good good bye line even tho it has been directly copied).
Saturday, October 22, 2005
JUST LIKE THAT
hi blog,
its been sixteen days since i last had a session with u. which can possibly mean tht i have not been in one of my depressing moods since so many days and tht is actually a gud sign (tho it is not the entire truth but a gud enuf assumption nevertheless(after all i am an engineer)).
it also does not mean tht today i am not feelin very gud .in fact the last few days have been one hell of a ride where i have written journals, forgotten them at wierd places, rewritten them and submitted them. a special mention needs to be made of one micro controller project which has made me wiser( you are supposed to learn from ur mistakes after all) and has taken me to a superbly scenic locale near ghatkopar station tht i odrwise wud never have seen in my life.
but now all my submissions are over, the college has officially declared a term end and only the studying for the exam part is left( dont knw whether tht is the easier or the dificult part of the sem. only time and future blogs will tell). of course there is the prelims in 2 days time which seems to be the biggest farce in the name of an examination i have ever witnessed(arun roy's iit-jee class tests come a close second). even then i will try opening my books b4 every exam(the relevant books and not novels) and the rest i leave to god, allah, jesus and whoever else is listening.
so this blog is not an indication of any moods of mine, it is just an announcement of things to come. it is the dawn of an era( every pl is equivalent to an era) tht will lead to many new periods of frustration, happiness, fun, a little study and a lot of timepass. and of course my regular mandir sessions which have become one of the most memorable(for lack of a better adjective(sumtimes my mind goes completely blank)) memoriess of the pl.
the next blog is going to be a review of the "prelims". a complete chronicle of an engineering terminology tht can be tht has no meaning except tht it forms part of the engineering jargon. till then bye.
its been sixteen days since i last had a session with u. which can possibly mean tht i have not been in one of my depressing moods since so many days and tht is actually a gud sign (tho it is not the entire truth but a gud enuf assumption nevertheless(after all i am an engineer)).
it also does not mean tht today i am not feelin very gud .in fact the last few days have been one hell of a ride where i have written journals, forgotten them at wierd places, rewritten them and submitted them. a special mention needs to be made of one micro controller project which has made me wiser( you are supposed to learn from ur mistakes after all) and has taken me to a superbly scenic locale near ghatkopar station tht i odrwise wud never have seen in my life.
but now all my submissions are over, the college has officially declared a term end and only the studying for the exam part is left( dont knw whether tht is the easier or the dificult part of the sem. only time and future blogs will tell). of course there is the prelims in 2 days time which seems to be the biggest farce in the name of an examination i have ever witnessed(arun roy's iit-jee class tests come a close second). even then i will try opening my books b4 every exam(the relevant books and not novels) and the rest i leave to god, allah, jesus and whoever else is listening.
so this blog is not an indication of any moods of mine, it is just an announcement of things to come. it is the dawn of an era( every pl is equivalent to an era) tht will lead to many new periods of frustration, happiness, fun, a little study and a lot of timepass. and of course my regular mandir sessions which have become one of the most memorable(for lack of a better adjective(sumtimes my mind goes completely blank)) memoriess of the pl.
the next blog is going to be a review of the "prelims". a complete chronicle of an engineering terminology tht can be tht has no meaning except tht it forms part of the engineering jargon. till then bye.
Thursday, October 6, 2005
Cant think of any title
hi
i am back and this time with a huge lot of stuff to write about.there is so much tht i want to put into this blog tht i fear tht a lot of it will be left out simply bcoz i forgot to write about it. of course the chronology of all tht i put in here is definitely not in any order of time, importance or any other parameter. so let the games begin........
to begin with, yes, i am on one of my periodic lows again. seems to me tht i think of this blog only when i am feeling low or depressed or some such emotional imbalance. somehow i never find the time or inclination to write in when i am feeling not so low( a high is out of the question coz i cant remember the last time i felt like i was on cloud #3 even (let aone cloud #9)). so as much as i try to avoid it, this blog ends up being a chronicle of all the lows tht i have been feeling since i have started blogging and now i think it is better tht i even stop trying.
at the root of this low , depression whtever u choose to call it, is the sme old culprit, engineering or my college or the people in it, i am not really sure. but one thing is for sure, it has sumthin to do with engineering. and so currently i hate, no despise, everything even remotely connected with it.
there is no comfort even in academics (read opening an engineering book and staring at it for hours on end without really assimilating anything). i used to think i cud use those seemingly unending lines of text as a possible solution to my dark moods. but this time even tht is not working. hasnt been working since days actually. i am not able to study at home and the library induces sleep before i can say abc.wht this means is tht this study leave will not be so rosy as my other ones and i will have to really slog it out then. so might as well gear up for it.
anyone reading this wud suggest tht if coll is a bore then stay at home. but even here there is a snag. the only things to do at home r study, play on the comp, watch tv(read keep switching channels) or sleep. all of which get boring after a really short period of time which is why getting home early is also discarded as an option.wht i wud really like to do is to get away sumwhere where there r no people outside of a select group for as far as the eye can see. being in mumbai i knw tht is sumthin which is actually impossible which is y i think the terrace of luv kush towers might be a nice place. i dont knw y but for one very brief moment when i was standing outside my classroom, i actually thot tht it mite just be a nice idea to try jumping (only for a very brief moment after which my senses got the better off me). but it just emphasises how much i long to be away from a lot of things, mainly people. i am basically tired of seeing all the sad faces tht my coll seems to have an endless supply of. people who r basically complaining or crying over sumthin or the other(even i do tht most of the times. its not their fault really). but its just tht currently i wud like to go away from it all.
then there is also vikram factor. i dont y but i just feel like hitting him whenever i see him. not like hurting or killing him kind of hitting but the playful kind of hitting. he doesnot seem to realise this and retaliates with all his might which often ends up hurting me. even rite now i have a mild swelling on my forehead which bursts into spasms of pain whenever i open my mouth to eat, yawn or do anything. so tomm onwards i promise not to touch him.
the current low tht i am going thru is different in the form tht it started during college hours, which is a first of its kind as far as i can remember( which is also not a very long time coz i cant remember a lot). it started sumtime in the CTSS lecture after which i just dint want to stay in coll which led to me missin my GD semis and also my soc event. and bcoz i had already exhausted all my options of things to do at home i ended up actually thinking abt wht i wud be writing in this blog today. sumtime during tht session, i had a feeling tht maybe these lows r bcoz of a desire to write sumthing. so i am not sure whether i am writing bcoz i feel a little down or i am feeling a little more than a little down bcoz i want to write. hope it is the former.
another really frustrating thing happening currently is the navratri festival bcoz of which a bunch of ppl who really wud not make gud bathroom singers even start blaring guju songs at the top of their voice forgetting even the basic fact tht they have a mike in their hand. all this and maybe somethings more which i am missing contribute to this being one of the more forgettable times of my life. just hope tht it gets over soon.
anways i think i am finally done with everything i wanted to say. hopefully i havent missed out on anything. if i have theres nothing tht can be done abt it so no point in doing anything abt it.
i knw this does not make for a gud read but it wasnt intended to be one in the first place. this as i said in the beginning (which is so long back tht u mite have forgotten it) a chronicle of my lows and nething tht i find worthy of mention so suggestions if any r definitely not welcome.
i am back and this time with a huge lot of stuff to write about.there is so much tht i want to put into this blog tht i fear tht a lot of it will be left out simply bcoz i forgot to write about it. of course the chronology of all tht i put in here is definitely not in any order of time, importance or any other parameter. so let the games begin........
to begin with, yes, i am on one of my periodic lows again. seems to me tht i think of this blog only when i am feeling low or depressed or some such emotional imbalance. somehow i never find the time or inclination to write in when i am feeling not so low( a high is out of the question coz i cant remember the last time i felt like i was on cloud #3 even (let aone cloud #9)). so as much as i try to avoid it, this blog ends up being a chronicle of all the lows tht i have been feeling since i have started blogging and now i think it is better tht i even stop trying.
at the root of this low , depression whtever u choose to call it, is the sme old culprit, engineering or my college or the people in it, i am not really sure. but one thing is for sure, it has sumthin to do with engineering. and so currently i hate, no despise, everything even remotely connected with it.
there is no comfort even in academics (read opening an engineering book and staring at it for hours on end without really assimilating anything). i used to think i cud use those seemingly unending lines of text as a possible solution to my dark moods. but this time even tht is not working. hasnt been working since days actually. i am not able to study at home and the library induces sleep before i can say abc.wht this means is tht this study leave will not be so rosy as my other ones and i will have to really slog it out then. so might as well gear up for it.
anyone reading this wud suggest tht if coll is a bore then stay at home. but even here there is a snag. the only things to do at home r study, play on the comp, watch tv(read keep switching channels) or sleep. all of which get boring after a really short period of time which is why getting home early is also discarded as an option.wht i wud really like to do is to get away sumwhere where there r no people outside of a select group for as far as the eye can see. being in mumbai i knw tht is sumthin which is actually impossible which is y i think the terrace of luv kush towers might be a nice place. i dont knw y but for one very brief moment when i was standing outside my classroom, i actually thot tht it mite just be a nice idea to try jumping (only for a very brief moment after which my senses got the better off me). but it just emphasises how much i long to be away from a lot of things, mainly people. i am basically tired of seeing all the sad faces tht my coll seems to have an endless supply of. people who r basically complaining or crying over sumthin or the other(even i do tht most of the times. its not their fault really). but its just tht currently i wud like to go away from it all.
then there is also vikram factor. i dont y but i just feel like hitting him whenever i see him. not like hurting or killing him kind of hitting but the playful kind of hitting. he doesnot seem to realise this and retaliates with all his might which often ends up hurting me. even rite now i have a mild swelling on my forehead which bursts into spasms of pain whenever i open my mouth to eat, yawn or do anything. so tomm onwards i promise not to touch him.
the current low tht i am going thru is different in the form tht it started during college hours, which is a first of its kind as far as i can remember( which is also not a very long time coz i cant remember a lot). it started sumtime in the CTSS lecture after which i just dint want to stay in coll which led to me missin my GD semis and also my soc event. and bcoz i had already exhausted all my options of things to do at home i ended up actually thinking abt wht i wud be writing in this blog today. sumtime during tht session, i had a feeling tht maybe these lows r bcoz of a desire to write sumthing. so i am not sure whether i am writing bcoz i feel a little down or i am feeling a little more than a little down bcoz i want to write. hope it is the former.
another really frustrating thing happening currently is the navratri festival bcoz of which a bunch of ppl who really wud not make gud bathroom singers even start blaring guju songs at the top of their voice forgetting even the basic fact tht they have a mike in their hand. all this and maybe somethings more which i am missing contribute to this being one of the more forgettable times of my life. just hope tht it gets over soon.
anways i think i am finally done with everything i wanted to say. hopefully i havent missed out on anything. if i have theres nothing tht can be done abt it so no point in doing anything abt it.
i knw this does not make for a gud read but it wasnt intended to be one in the first place. this as i said in the beginning (which is so long back tht u mite have forgotten it) a chronicle of my lows and nething tht i find worthy of mention so suggestions if any r definitely not welcome.
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