WITH MALICE TOWARDS ONE AND ALL

heres another case of blatant plagiarism but i doubt whether the creator of this title will ever find out or even if he does will find it important enough to sue me for theft of intellectual property. in case there r ppl who dont know where this has been taken from it is the title of khushwant singh's article in hindustan times where in one article he writes abt everything he feels is worth being written about. So here I go

Placement – II

Those who r regular in reading my blog will know what was placement I was so now its turn for the second one. The company is TCS, a very reputed company that is out to hire the world. And it was no different this time around. At the end of the day it recruited a whopping 113 ppl of which I sadly or maybe not so sadly was not a part. And once again i messed up the tech interviews. Got thru the aptis pretty comfortably and then got thrown out in the tech coz I got the bridge rectifier and r-s flip flop wrong. Something was definitely wrong with me. What is it that happens to me during interviews. I am definitely not nervous, not tensed nothing. In both these interviews I have been very normal only to go in and find that the thinking process has stopped. Not again I promised myself. I shall not fail a third time.

Placement – III

This time it is accenture. A company I don’t know a lot abt. A company which everyone says is good. A company I shall apply to coz I feel like a beggar instead of a chooser after 2 failed interviews. So accenture it is. Starts off with a really simple aptitude test. The simplest of the three so far. I was the confident of clearing it abt halfway thru the apti. After that came the gd’s. again a field where I consider myself to be not so bad. And was blessed with a panel with not a lot of speakers. Again got thru that pretty well. There was a moment after the gd when the results were announced. Those stupid ppl chose to call out the names of those rejected and for a few moments my heart was in my mouth. But then things got back on track and I was thru to the interview rounds for the third time. Now comes the real test. At around 1 all the gd’s were done and the long wait for the interviews started. Long it sure was coz I finally got to my first interview at 5. by which I was already frustrated and bored and irritated with the entire process. The first interview was a shocker. One female in blue popularly called as ‘the bitch’ took my interview. No tech anywhere. A pure HR round – rapid fire. Interview over in five minutes and I answered as many questions as any normal speed 20 min interview would have allowed me to. I came out of the interview feeling nothing coz there was not time to feel. It started and ended before I could blink. Needless to say it only served to shatter my already shattered confidence a little more. Then in abt 15 min I was called for the second interview. This one could not have been more different from the first one. Again over in 5 min but much slower and all I answered were questions on my resume and the football world cup. Dint know what to make of it. Whether I was already in and this was just a formality or whether I was already out and this was only a formality. In any case it really was of no consequence of that I am sure. After that came a long and agonizing wait for the results in which period accenture had been really unprofessional with their working chucking out ppl the way they did. Finally at 10 pm after 13 long hours since I stepped in the coll did we get to hear the results. A 13 hours in which all I had were a few biscuits courtesy the most amazing canteen on earth. But guess what………I was in. yes!!!!!!! I had made it thru the interviews. Finally gotten the jinx broken if it can be called that. And I was a relieved man. Now with the placements safely behind me I can concentrate on enjoying myself. Thank u accenture, even tho in all probability I will work there.

Chapter completely closed.

Again this is for my regular readers. And it contains SFE. My erstwhile society. This Sunday saw me at the farewell for the senior council that we had a lot of fun working with. But at the farewell I realized one thing. As far as I am concerned SFE is history and so is my association with it. Being there made me remember all the things I did in the last 2 years and tho I absolutely enjoyed every minute of it and do not regret anything, I am glad it is over. And firmly behind me. So is every coll event this year. No more organizing helping or any such thing. The fourth year is for me. To enjoy. To have fun. To create trouble. To laugh at the organizers. And that I shall do. So finally good bye SFE. It was great working for u, but I have moved on.

PLACEMENT

Date: 16^th June 2006

Venue: new Vivekanand College (somewhere in the remotest part of earth. I wonder how I of all ppl got there safely and on time. Thank u Amogh)

The occasion: My first ever placement interview

Yes, this is an account of the first placement session of my life. One hell of an emotional ride that ended only two days later. It all started at about 9 in the morning. Before that there was the long process of getting to the college but it pales before the entire experience of the day so we will skip that. The company in question was L n T a very renowned giant I am sure all of u will agree. Went to the coll to listen to the pre placement talk with a lot of doubts in my mind. Electronics company, heavy engineering, not my style, don’t know anything abt what I am going to do there and lots of other stuff. Hoped the ppt would answer all that and much more. It all started reasonably on time, only abt 15 minutes late which is definitely acceptable. A bald man with a squeamish face walked up to the mike and my first impressions were….I don’t want to be like this 20 yrs down the line. He started with something I dint get to hear courtesy my coll’s outstanding sound system and my natural tendency to sit at the last bench any place can offer. Had to concentrate with all my energy to hear him. And predictably after about 15 minutes I gave up. Balls to all my doubts. Will solve them somehow after the ppt. the one thing that I did manage to pick up was that they were offering a pay of 2.75 lakhs which boiled down to abt 15000 in cash every month out of which I have to pay tax. Not very substantial but better than other figures I had heard so went ahead with the apti. There was a thing abt a 2 year bond that seemed to scare the toppers of my class but somehow that dint bother me. So onwards to the apti.

I had heard lots abt this apti. How it would be different from the rest and that it would contain mechanics. Not very encouraging but what’s the harm in trying. The apti consisted of two parts. One was called APM (advanced progressive matrices). Sent a shudder down my spine. I don’t remember any matrices. But the actual test couldn’t have been more different. It had no math but only logic. A set of figures already given and guess the next in the series. 36 questions in 40 minutes. Pretty simple. Piece of cake really. I was getting more confident.

The second part was called MCC (don’t know the full form). And it contained mechanics. Bang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All confidence shattered. It had questions pertaining to gears, shafts, axles, boats, fluid mechanics, pulleys. Everything that I dint like. 60 questions in 40 minutes. Piece of cake again. Coz dint know anything so tried thinking for abt 40 seconds and when the answer dint strike (of course it wouldn’t, y was I even trying), guessed. Finished all 60 in 40 minutes. And was pretty confident that it was the end of my first placement possibility.

Then came a break where we had to have lunch. A real big joke coz the @%$#^%$^ canteen dint have any food worth eating. And any other eatery had to be at least miles away from the coll. Still had 2 samosas (did I say samosas!!!!!!! Sorry, something made of potatoes I think). Anyways done with the eating now time for the results. Lets get this formally over. And wonder of wonders my name is amongst those who cleared it. Today is surely my lucky day. Now interviews should be relatively simpler. Or so I thot.

Next round…..we r given a form to fill. The kind that debsoc had given sometime back. Dint bother filling it then. Had all the regular questions…..name, age, address, marks, ranks, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, preferences, references, etc. etc. etc. filled it all up. Took a long time to do so. And then the interviews started. First to go was Amogh. Pretty brave of him I thot, electing to go first. His interview just dint end. Seemed to go on and on. By then another guy from the other panel was in and out. And his interview was ok he said. Then amogh came out. Snorter of an interview. He was asked stuff about motors. Dint even remember studying them ever. After 2 or 3 more such dreadful interviews I gave up. Don’t want to hear any more. If my interview is as bad ill get thru it somehow. No point in discussing it further. And like I always do when in a classroom went to sleep. Told abhay to wake me up if my turn comes. But my turn dint come and I woke up before that. Now nothing else to do but wait for the interview. Did a lot of time pass with everyone else and kept on waiting for the interview. As I watched ppl went in and came out but my turn just would not come. As luck would have had it, I was the last. And my interview was with the second panel, the one that supposedly went easy. Then came the interview

(Key: the interviewer is he and I am I)

He: hello Siddharth

(Shit he knows my name. has gone thru that form)

I: good evening sir

He: good evening. Sit down.

He: u r interested in electronics?????

I: yes sir. Have been since a long time. I did electronics in my junior college also. Chose that over computer science which was the favorite then.

(Trying to impress him)

He: name the top 3 electronics companies in India

I: (don’t even know 3. let alone top 3) sir……..siemens, ………………………. L n T (smile)………………..and………………I don’t know the third.

He: no other company?????

I: sir I know there is a company called Honeywell but don’t know a lot abt it. Only that its for instrumentation ppl. (Don’t ask me where I got that from, just remember hearing it somewhere)

He: so do u play any sport???

(wow!!!!!!!sport. that’s my zone)

i: yes sir, played hockey for my school and now play cricket for my coll and my dads firm.

He: what does ur dad do??

I: he is a businessman. Deals in ball bearings.

He: ill give u a simple circuit. U analyse it. This is the first level. Then well move on the next.

I: yes sir

(here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

he: find current thru the resistor.

(after some “analyzing” I come up with an answer)

i: sir 27 amperes.

He: how did u find out?

I: using super position theorem sir.

He: ok. So u want to do marketing

I: yes sir.

He: tell me one electronics item that u want to market

I: ……………………sir opamp

He: opamp?????? I mean appliance.anyways y opamp?

I: (oops)sir because it used very widely

He: who uses opamps now a days??????? And whom would u market it to?

I: sir the manufacturing companies. And opamps because they r used in regulators, waveform generators and lots of circuits(and I know most abt it and hope u ask me abt an opamp circuit)

He: select an appliance

I:………….ummmmmmmmm……………it will have to be computers.

He: how will u market computers?

I: sir that depends on the target audience that I am marketing it to.

He: select a target audience.

I:……………….sir………..the upper class.

He: ok. Upper class it is. How will u market it to the upper class.

I: sir I would emphasize more on the performance and less on the cost.

He: how would u do it? Go knocking on the doors?

I: ummmmmmmmm……..no sir. These ppl will not like door to door marketing. I would rope in some celebrity coz for these ppl its more abt glamour.

He: whom would u select? Rakhi Sawant? (he actually said that!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I: (what!!!!!!!!!! Where did that come from) no sir. She is not a celebrity.

He: she is not? I thot she was. Then whom would u select?

I: sir some filmstar or someone like that.

He: someone like aamir khan??

I: yes sir….maybe someone like that

He: so how would u go abt it?

I: sir I would get him to highlight the performance aspects

He: what performance aspects?

I: sir the speed, memory capacity, graphics things like that.

He: what abt the graphics?

I: abt how they r so lifelike. How gaming would be such an amazing experience….etc.

He: so u would show aamir khan playing games?

I: yes sir something like that.

He: anyways what abt the graphics. Speak technically. U r an engineer.

I: sir abt the speed, memory and the new type of g- force cards that r out in the market.

He: tell me something abt them.

I: sir I don’t know a lot abt them right now.

He: then how would u market them?

I: sir I don’t know abt them now. But before marketing ill make sure I know abt them. Ill do my research.

He: hmmmm….so when r u giving ur CAT????

I: (don’t know whether to hide or not. Better come clean). Sir this November.

He: I am sure u will do well. U must give ur CAT. Thank u very much.

I: thank u sir. Thanks a lot.

Phew………so that was my interview. I was pretty sure as I came out that that last statement was an indirect rejection. Still lets wait for the results.

In another 15 minutes the results r out. “there r 4 ppl from electronics, 1 from telecom and 2 from instrumentation. From electronics…..Raichur Amogh( congratulations to him), Gawde Khushal, Gharat Pranjali(somehow everyone always gets her name wrong.) and Lakhanpal Rahul(huh! Seriously surprising) from telecom…..blah…..blah….blah.(anyways I don’t remember the names)

So that was it. I dint get thru. Expected but still disappointing. Did this reject mean I was not fit for the corporate world????? Did I not have it in me to get myself thru an interview???? Am I so bad????? All these questions kept popping in my mind. Dint know what to do. So met up with you know who who gave me company for dinner and helped postpone the train of thoughts. Spent a nice few moments with her and then back to my problems. What could have gone wrong?? Maybe they were not looking for ppl in marketing. If they want ppl for that they will go and get mba’s. that’s y I dint get thru. I was a reject even before I entered because of that. Nice line of thought. Its amazing how u always manage to find someway by which its not ur fault. But still I was shaken up. Got to do something before my next one which is a week away. So I started studying. Went thru half of balagurusamy coz the next company is software. Then tonight I thot atleast let me verify the answer to my question. So opened up neamen. Searched for such circuits. Dint find any. What to do now????? Opened pspice and got the circuit analysed.

Heres a blow up of the analysed circuit.

Shit…….. I was wrong at level one. Of course I was a reject after that. Dint have anything to do with any marketing or bias. I goofed up. And now I feel better. Coz it means that there is nothing wrong with me. I made an error. I goofed up. And I got rejected. Which means that it will not happen everytime. And I will get placed. There is nothing inherently wrong with me or any such stupid thing. Confidence back to normal. Will be careful next time.

Thus shaped out my very first placement session. A roller coaster of emotions…..from skepticism to sure shot reject to confident of getting placed to what kind of a person am I to not get thru an interview.!!!!!!!!!! Will never forget this ever in my life.

to kut OR not to KUT

The world is witnessing a new marvel in the name of orkut or so it seems. i really dont know abt the world but i sure know abt VESIT and it is going gaga over a mere website called Orkut. a website which is no different from thousands of other such websites that are spread all throughout the world wide web. it allows u to stay in touch with long lost friends and not so long lost friends. if its use is limited to tht then its fine. and orkut is a good website. though still no different from many others. but when it becomes an obsession is where i have a problem. along with a few more. the first problem is the absolute lack of privacy in the website. any tom dick and harry (not inspired from the movie) can read what other people have to say to u. ur scrapbook is as open and available for reading and scrutiny as anything tht can be (this is due to my inability to find anything else tht is more public). people in my coll are so obsessed with orkut(maybe this is the case elsewhere also) that the first thing tht people do after waking up in the morning is brush their teeth(what did u expect). and the next thing is orkut. surely it is not so important to keep in touch that it takes precedence over visiting the loo.people who have been together all day go home and scrap each other. give me a break. this is surely unnecessary. and because i hate orkut so much i shall refrain from copy pasting some of the trash tht appears in the name of scraps. i feel the makers of orkut made a slight mistake in adding an s. it shld have been crap. coz thts wht most of those scrapbooks are filled with. and people actually check those scraps. it is a favourite past time of quite a good number of people to check each others scrapbooks so that they know what some third person has to say to some fourth person which has no bearing on ur existence whatsoever and does not even make for interesting or entertaining reading. i would strongly suggest a neamen or franco(just kidding) or a jefferey archer or michael crichton or even penthouse letters if u r of that mould instead of wasting time reading useless scraps.

the scrapbook is not all. orkut boasts of a few more such attractions. there is the option of writing testimonials for each other. for the fortunate few ignorant of orkut a testimonial is a space where u can write what u feel for a person. again open to the entire world to read. another piece of complete rubbish coz i am yet to see a single testimonial tht speaks anything bad abt the person. all testimonials are oh so diabetically sweet tht u wud think everyone on orkut is an angel. and of course u cannot write anything bad abt a person coz that then becomes the talk of the town courtesy the advanced privacy options in orkut ultimately projecting the writer in a bad light when all the poor bloke has done is speak out his mind. as far as i am concerned testimonials are nothing but ego boosters created with the sole purpose of making a person feel good at the cost of truth. thank god it comes with a word limit.

after testimonials come communities. technically a community is a group of like minded individuals who wish to share views. as far as this definition is concerned the communities in orkut are fine. problem starts when die hard orkutters start making hopeless communities. u shld not get surprised if u come across a "mithun fans" community or an "i love to see the clock striking 6" community. methinks even i can start a community called "i hate orkut". might even find some takers. and with a little bit more research i might discover tht most of those communities are gathering dust but that would mean spending a lot of time on orkut which by now u must have understood i am not ready to do.

anyways thts all i can think of right now. if i find more problems will post it later.

Any pro orkut willing to contradict are welcome to comment.