Post Praxis

Praxis, the one festival in my college tht has not been very enjoyable, atleast in the first two years.
But this weekend and this Praxis has been different. This time arnd, for the first time, i was present for both the days upto the very end and i dont regret doing tht. In fact it was quite enjoyable.
Anyways it is all over now and the time has come once again when exams and assignments and submissions start looming large. I have to seriously start studying now and so as a start will try real hard to wrap up all my comp related activities by midnight (i knw it will be difficult so God help me). This will atleast ensure tht i get enuf sleep and do not need to sleep in the evening.
Also i will try to get back from coll as early as possible (and this will be even more difficult). So heres looking forward to another of those torrid 2 months tht r the trademark of ne engg semester. Anyone reading this plz say a silent prayer for me (even loud prayer is fine) and wish me luck.

A Little Early

today i am writing this blog relatively early. its only 10:50 at night and i think this is the best time to blog. coz i dont feel bad at all rite now, in fact i feel very gud.
today a really strange thing happened to me. the front door of my house just refused to open like saurav refused to step down from his captaincy. so ultimately i had to climb from the backside (for those who dont knw my house is on the second floor). it was not very difficult but i enjoyed it very much as it was the first time i had attempted such a thing.
other than tht i had a pretty normal day today and nothing exceptionally gud or bad to report (which is very close to an ideal day). i intend to have many more days in the near future now tht i see myself having a lot more time for myself after the end of this week.

Strange Times

having just written a comment on a post tht i wud love to see more cheerful articles in a blog, i find myself thinking of only sad things in life rite now for this one. tho this is supposed to be a personal diary kind of a blog. but i sure as hell dont want my personal diary to be a colloection of whinings and sad stories and look back at it maybe ten years from now and decide tht my life was miserable.
coz my life is NOT miserable yet i do not find a single day tht can be described as completely cheerful or a day where i have not thot of nething tht has dampened my spirits.
i myself read my previous few blogs all over again and i dont think those days were all tht bad tht sumone reading it wud feel. but those blogs reflect my mood at tht time of the day (which is usually pretty late at night) and i knw this from experience tht late at nite i usually get all frustrated and stuff primarily bcoz i knw wht is my prob and wht is its solution and still cant do anything abt it. till the case remains such i think this blog will keep reflecting the darker side of me ,a side which only i knw abt. an alternative wud be tht i start bloggin during the day but i prefer it this way so tht atleast i can type down my thots if not shout them out even tho tht wud be a better way.
till then i am sorry but this blog represents a Siddharth which is a little different from the normal Siddharth but very much a part of him nonetheless

The real reason

now tht things in my life r getting back to normal, i finally found some time for thinking abt the past few days in detail. i think the main reason for all my bad moods and boredom and frustrations is the rains. i dont understand y there is no stop button for them. it is high time someone told them they cannot stay for this long. i cannot play cricket bcoz of them and feel all bottled up coz i keep moving between the home and coll which r all closed spaces. i just long to be out in the open where i can just let myself free and do whtever i want to. i think once tht happens i will be fine.
so neone who reads this plz pray tht the rains stop real quick and life gets exciting again.

BACK TO NORMAL

the last two days have been some kind of an emotional roller coaster for me. from extreme low to a normal frame of mind in 2 days. and now it is back to normal once again.
i am beginning to like engineering again and i think it is bcoz of the fact the on opening my books today i finally found sumthin tht can keep away the boredom of everyday life.
strange tht relief comes in the form of books. most of the subjects this sem are not easy pushovers and so they will take up a lot of time to get thru. wht this means for me is tht i can now spend quite a lot of my time on those books without getting bored. never knew i wud thank the day when my subjects look tough. i have also decided to give fiction another chance and see where tht leads me. all in all i think the next few days will pass pretty smoothly. one more good thing to look forward to is tht there r no society activities for the next ten days in coll which translates into a lot of free time.so heres to a nice week

a little correction

neone reading yesterday's blog( i doubt whether if there is neone odr than me) must have surely felt tht i am goin deep into depression.
let me assure you( actually it is more for my own self) tht such is not the case.
i am perfectly fine and enjoying my life even tho i aint doin nething worthwhile(engg is hardly worthwhile) and nothin in my life will find a mention in even the crappiest newspaper, i am ok with my life and am in a waiting phase where i just wait for better things to happen.
so life goes on and hopefully the next 2 yrs will pass quickly.

after a long time

hi
long time eh????
dont knw y but i felt like writing today.its been 5 months and 20 days(approx) since i last wrote anything.
partly bcoz nothing new is happening in my life.engineering is getting more and more boring with each passing day.i now long for a break every second day.i have also started growing tired of playing the same games on my comp but dont want to start a new game coz i just mite get hooked on to it.reading also does not interest me a lot nemore.
so on the whole i can safely conclude tht life is taking a turn but definitely not for the better (well.......maybe in certain aspects but not on the whole)
i get the strong feelin tht sumthin sumwhere will have to give soon.maybe i will crack down and do sumthin i am not supposed to or sumthin like tht.
i think i am feeling increasingly edgy now a days and have started getting angry and also started xpressing it more frequently.i dont knw whether this is gud or bad.
i dont like my college nemore,i am beginning to not like my home nemore.just long to get away from all of this and maybe.............i dont knw wht
sorry if this feels like a loser whining his way to glory but thts how i feel currently .
my only hope comes from the fact tht i am beginning to realise tht sumthin is wrong with me and tht i need to find it out and start rectifying it.maybe it will take time and tht is one thing i seem to have an abundance of with very little idea of wht to do with it.
i seriously think my life wud have been better had i been studying in some place far from home.even a remote village wud have been ok.
the more i think abt it,i realise tht i have to be patient for another 2 yrs and just exist till then.
after tht hopefully i shall start living.
bye