Hi
It’s me again. Though who else it can be except for me I haven’t the faintest idea. This is my blog and so there cannot be anyone other than me. Only I wanted to begin and could not think of a better beginning so the hi it’s me again.
Anyway getting to the point which I am not really sure exists. I am not writing here because there is sumthin that I want to write about. I am writing here only because I want to write. About what I don’t know. All that I know is that this desire to write has in some way arisen after reading Fountainhead. For those who don’t know it is a novel by ayn rand about the struggle of an architect. That in itself does not sound even remotely inspiring and it isn’t. What is though is the text of the novel, the way in which it is written. To me the novel seems to be filled of meaningless mumble jumble in exceptionally high English which I accept I do not completely understand. What I infer from reading parts of the novel is that it is highly philosophical and seems to go round and round without actually saying anything. Reading it today created an intense desire in me to just write. It somewhat adheres to what I consider to be somewhat similar to my style of writing which is saying anything and everything that comes to the mind without really thinking whether it means sumthin or not. As an example I would like to paste here an excerpt from the book. There is no introduction necessary because it does not really make any sense at least as far as the storyline is concerned. So here’s how it goes:
“When facing society, the man most concerned, the man who is to do the most and contribute the most, has the least say. It’s taken for granted that he has no voice and the reasons he could offer are rejected in advance as prejudiced—since no speech is ever considered, but only the speaker. It’s so much easier to pass judgment on a man than on an idea. Though how in hell one passes judgment on a man without considering the content of his brain is more than ill ever understand. However, that’s how it is done. You see, reasons require scales to weigh them. And scales are not made of cotton. And cotton is what the human spirit is made of—you know, the stuff that keeps no shape and can be twisted forward and backward into a pretzel. You could tell them y they should hire u so very much better than I cud. But they won’t listen to u and they’ll listen to me. Because I’m the middleman. The shortest distance between two points is not a straight line—it’s a middleman. And the more middlemen, the shorter. Such is the psychology of a pretzel.”
I would not say that this is totally ununderstandable. At the same time it does not completely make sense either at least to me. But it is fun reading because it is pure thoughts put into text without any editing. That is what I have always wanted to do.
One more excerpt which does make sense but I still feel I want to put in here. Here’s how this one goes:
“Now you see the particular effectiveness of a dead issue. You can’t talk your way out of it, you can’t explain, you can’t defend yourself. Nobody wants to listen. It is difficult enough to acquire fame. It is impossible to change its nature once you have acquired it. No, you can never ruin an architect by proving he’s a bad architect. But u can ruin him because he is an atheist, or because somebody sued him, or because he slept with some woman, or because he pulls wings off flies. You’ll say it doesn’t make sense? Of course it doesn’t. That’s why it works. Reason can be fought with reason. How are you going to fight the unreasonable? The trouble with u, my dear, and with most people, is that you don’t have sufficient respect for the senseless. The senseless is the major factor in our lives. You have no chance if it is your enemy. But if u can make it become your ally—ah my dear.”
This paragraph once again does make quite a bit of sense. But again it is beautifully written, seems straight out of the mind and on to the paper and very natural. This is what I aspire to do. Just write about…………….anything…………about everything. And it need not make sense always. And that is what I am going to do from now onwards. Just write, write whatever comes to mind, write without thinking. And once again if anyone has any problems they can approach the address given in my previous posts. Comments if any are welcome.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Utter Crap--just the way i like it
Well I am back and as the title suggests, actually does not suggest but informs that this is the second time in the day that I am blogging. I don’t know why I am doing this and frankly the why I not sumthin that interests me.
Unlike my future blogs, this one has a topic( for a change) and that is :appearances
The title may not really be apt but what the hell. What I really intend to talk about is the importance of looking good, or the importance that society seems to attach to looking good, or my interpretation as to what importance looking good holds for me. I suspect the post will contain something about all the three without no real interconnetction or flow which is exactly how I want it to be.
Comin back to the topic—everywhere I see ppl r obsessed with looking good. Before I really get into it, let me define what I mean when I say looking good. What I am describing here as looking good is an effort to see that everything about u is just perfect. The clothes r not decided depending on what appears at the top of ur wardrobe. They have been decided after real careful thinking even tho the occasion might be as simple as going out for a walk. Yes I have seen ppl who do that. The factors that r taken into consideration before deciding on what to wear when goin for a walk are as follows:
The clothes should not look too old, too new, too crumpled or too neatly pressed. The colors have to be just right, they need to match or the shirt and trousers when worn together should give the appearance of been given a fair bit of thought. The hair has to be neatly combed, not just neatly, properly with the right amount of bounce, shine and whtever else that hair can ever have. What I fail to understand here is the y part of all this. Y is all this fuss over looks necessary? Isn’t it enough if u just look lookable enough that ppl need not be repelled by ur very appearance? And I don’t think the colour of ur clothes has anything to do with it. So, as long as what u r wearing is decent, as long as nobody has any problems with it, it does not really matter what u wear. Yes sometimes it is necessary to dress up, to look good, to appear as if there has been a lot of thought behind ur appearance. But not always. In fact not at most times. Given a choice between being comfortable and looking good, I would opt for the former. But I know of a lot of ppl who wud happily go for the latter. And mostly the two don’t go hand in hand. If and when they do, fine. No problems with that. I know this attitude will not endeavor me a lot to ladies but then I don’t go out looking to impress ppl do i? and if looking good is what is going to get me there, I am not sure I want to be there at all. This can also be taken as a warning or indication of sorts to anyone who is lookin out for me(I am not sure there r any but still whts the harm) that I will not even try looking good for general occasions. If it something special then I mite give it a shot but still there r no guarantees of success.
Unlike my future blogs, this one has a topic( for a change) and that is :appearances
The title may not really be apt but what the hell. What I really intend to talk about is the importance of looking good, or the importance that society seems to attach to looking good, or my interpretation as to what importance looking good holds for me. I suspect the post will contain something about all the three without no real interconnetction or flow which is exactly how I want it to be.
Comin back to the topic—everywhere I see ppl r obsessed with looking good. Before I really get into it, let me define what I mean when I say looking good. What I am describing here as looking good is an effort to see that everything about u is just perfect. The clothes r not decided depending on what appears at the top of ur wardrobe. They have been decided after real careful thinking even tho the occasion might be as simple as going out for a walk. Yes I have seen ppl who do that. The factors that r taken into consideration before deciding on what to wear when goin for a walk are as follows:
The clothes should not look too old, too new, too crumpled or too neatly pressed. The colors have to be just right, they need to match or the shirt and trousers when worn together should give the appearance of been given a fair bit of thought. The hair has to be neatly combed, not just neatly, properly with the right amount of bounce, shine and whtever else that hair can ever have. What I fail to understand here is the y part of all this. Y is all this fuss over looks necessary? Isn’t it enough if u just look lookable enough that ppl need not be repelled by ur very appearance? And I don’t think the colour of ur clothes has anything to do with it. So, as long as what u r wearing is decent, as long as nobody has any problems with it, it does not really matter what u wear. Yes sometimes it is necessary to dress up, to look good, to appear as if there has been a lot of thought behind ur appearance. But not always. In fact not at most times. Given a choice between being comfortable and looking good, I would opt for the former. But I know of a lot of ppl who wud happily go for the latter. And mostly the two don’t go hand in hand. If and when they do, fine. No problems with that. I know this attitude will not endeavor me a lot to ladies but then I don’t go out looking to impress ppl do i? and if looking good is what is going to get me there, I am not sure I want to be there at all. This can also be taken as a warning or indication of sorts to anyone who is lookin out for me(I am not sure there r any but still whts the harm) that I will not even try looking good for general occasions. If it something special then I mite give it a shot but still there r no guarantees of success.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Just like that once again and maybe a little more
this blog comes in the middle of my PREPARATORY LEAVE. the pl is written in capital only to emphasise the importance of this little period of 20 or so days in the life of an engineer. anyone reading this should not try to find any hidden meanings in the capitals for this is not modern art and there is no hidden meaning here( still if anyone can manage to find any do tell me abt it).
anyways i am writing today only because i felt like writing. i have been planning to write since a long time but could not find time for it until today.
now tht i have found the time, i intend to make it count ( tho wht i am hoping to achieve when i say make it count beats me). as my previous post promises ill start with a review, discussion, article, debate, criticism- whtever u choose to call it- of the PRELIMS. now this caps certainly has a hidden meaning. to those who cannot decipher it- think of it as being written with the same intention as the PL in caps and if ur an engineer especially one from VESIT, u will get the point. in my previous post i remember mentioning tht the prelims is the biggest farce in the name of an examination tht i have witnessed. never before have i been so truthful in my life. this prelim was just as important as it is for saurav ganguly to pass a fitness test before playing a match. sarcasm aside(tho it not entirely possible), if i try to find one positive, one small little tiny positive out of the prelims, it wud have to be my enthusiasm for the maths paper(for reasons tht most of those reading will not be able to guess and it is certainly not a desire to do well in atleast one paper) and the resulting proficiency in maths tht i gained out of it. tho the objective tht i had in mind for writing the paper has not been fulfilled bcoz i did not get the corrected version of my answer paper( i doubt whether the teacher has considered them important enuf to be used as toilet paper even). of course the only good thing coming out of that period of 5 days (not the prelim mind u) is tht i finally for the first time in my life managed a trip to a remote place on the face of earth that some fool named kalyan coz tht is certainly wht happens by the time u get there( this joke mite be understood by those who know a smattering of hindi) and the trip was not without incident.
but the prelims is over. the pl is on in full swing. my time table is out. for once i have said something good for the mu coz they have come out with a wonderful timetable tht has made my pl wonderfully easy and not the hard times tht i had envisaged it to be sometime in the recent past. so the actual reason y i am writing this post today is tht i want an account of my pl so far(finally got to the main reason. took a long time coming).
this sem the beginning of the PL was marked by the auspicious festival of Diwali which is in general a very special festival and this Diwali was my best ever for a variety of reasons most of which i would not like to go into at this point of time, maybe sometime later. one of the main reasons which i can certainly include here is tht i had my house all to myself with noone arnd me. my parents could not have chosen a better time to go on vacation. i spent most of diwali with myself and my friends which was exactly wht i wanted to do.
diwali came and diwali went. during tht time studies happened and then again studies did not happen(plz do not ask me wht this is supposed to mean, i just felt like putting it in tht way) but i was not really concerned and still am not coz of the timetable being so good and my academics being in a generally good condition.
after diwali something happened tht has had me confused ever since. my nani( for those who do not know hindi-my maternal grandmother) passed away. she was well above 80 with already a close brush with death once in the past and so this was not unexpected. even then the news came to me as a surprise and a little bit of shock coming as it did at 3 in the morning. bcoz of tht my mom left immediately on the next flight and my dad left soon after which once again left me all alone( my brother was there but we lead separate lives so tht was not so much of a problem) and it still is like tht as of today. my mom dad will be back by thursday after which life will get back to normal (normal meaning as it was when they r generally here- not good or bad or any such thing). food has been one problem these 2 weeks as i have had to shuffle from one place to another for lunches and dinners and also a lot of dinners in restaurants where 8 out of 10 times(yeah i have been to restaurants for dinner almost 10 times in 2 weeks) i have ended up eating pav bhaji. i hereby promise tht for the remainder of the pl i shall not touch pav bhaji and this is one promise i intend to keep( sounds familiar.........i say this all the time but it never happens so all the best to me). the confusion is because i have enojyed this little period where i was alone but i am not sure whether i was supposed to enjoy it bcoz of the circumstances which led to my being alone. tht is a question tht will probably never be answered and i am not sure whether i even want an answer now. whts done is done. if wht i have done is wrong then maybe someone close to me will also enjoy when i am no more but tht hopefully is a long way off so no point in thinking abt it rite now.
so in this fashion half my pl is over. it has been one really wonderful half pl again for reasons i cannot or maybe do not want to include here rite now. watch out for the reason later coz i am sure there will be one post explaining them tho i am not sure when tht will be.
academically also as i have already written earlier it has been good. how good is something tht only my results will tell and i do not bother a huge lot abt them anyways.
one final point tht i dont know y but i want to include here. this post is not a record of ne emotional hormonal psychological pseudo-psychological or ne odr such imbalance. in fact it is the exact opposite (which is also a kind of imbalance but not like the earlier ones which this blog is full of) and so this makes in 2 in a row tht i have written when i have been feeling good which is a good sign coz tht means i have not felt any such lows since a pretty long time which again confirms the fact tht my lows have something to do with the college and i am generally happier when there is no college. it is also a good thing for this blog coz it is no longer just a blaring record of troubled times but a true companion in all my good and bad times. phew!!!! tht was some final point.
i seem to have written a lot here. i think this is my biggest blog to date i am not really sure but i have just gone one writing whtever i have felt and so the size does matter.
once again i wud like to reiterate tht this is not a bedtime story and so is not meant to entertain. if anyone reading it(i dont knw y i am including this coz i dont knw many ppl who do, in fact i dont knw any who do) finds it boring or has anything to complain abt it he or she may do it at
The prime ministers relief fund
p.o.box no 11023
delhi-1
coz complaining abt it here is tantamount to bhes ke aage been bajana(again only for those who know hindi and i am not able to satisfyingly translate it in english) and if anyone is willing to do tht then be my guest.
till then
bye gn shubh ratri shaba khair and do take very good care of yourself(makes a very good good bye line even tho it has been directly copied).
anyways i am writing today only because i felt like writing. i have been planning to write since a long time but could not find time for it until today.
now tht i have found the time, i intend to make it count ( tho wht i am hoping to achieve when i say make it count beats me). as my previous post promises ill start with a review, discussion, article, debate, criticism- whtever u choose to call it- of the PRELIMS. now this caps certainly has a hidden meaning. to those who cannot decipher it- think of it as being written with the same intention as the PL in caps and if ur an engineer especially one from VESIT, u will get the point. in my previous post i remember mentioning tht the prelims is the biggest farce in the name of an examination tht i have witnessed. never before have i been so truthful in my life. this prelim was just as important as it is for saurav ganguly to pass a fitness test before playing a match. sarcasm aside(tho it not entirely possible), if i try to find one positive, one small little tiny positive out of the prelims, it wud have to be my enthusiasm for the maths paper(for reasons tht most of those reading will not be able to guess and it is certainly not a desire to do well in atleast one paper) and the resulting proficiency in maths tht i gained out of it. tho the objective tht i had in mind for writing the paper has not been fulfilled bcoz i did not get the corrected version of my answer paper( i doubt whether the teacher has considered them important enuf to be used as toilet paper even). of course the only good thing coming out of that period of 5 days (not the prelim mind u) is tht i finally for the first time in my life managed a trip to a remote place on the face of earth that some fool named kalyan coz tht is certainly wht happens by the time u get there( this joke mite be understood by those who know a smattering of hindi) and the trip was not without incident.
but the prelims is over. the pl is on in full swing. my time table is out. for once i have said something good for the mu coz they have come out with a wonderful timetable tht has made my pl wonderfully easy and not the hard times tht i had envisaged it to be sometime in the recent past. so the actual reason y i am writing this post today is tht i want an account of my pl so far(finally got to the main reason. took a long time coming).
this sem the beginning of the PL was marked by the auspicious festival of Diwali which is in general a very special festival and this Diwali was my best ever for a variety of reasons most of which i would not like to go into at this point of time, maybe sometime later. one of the main reasons which i can certainly include here is tht i had my house all to myself with noone arnd me. my parents could not have chosen a better time to go on vacation. i spent most of diwali with myself and my friends which was exactly wht i wanted to do.
diwali came and diwali went. during tht time studies happened and then again studies did not happen(plz do not ask me wht this is supposed to mean, i just felt like putting it in tht way) but i was not really concerned and still am not coz of the timetable being so good and my academics being in a generally good condition.
after diwali something happened tht has had me confused ever since. my nani( for those who do not know hindi-my maternal grandmother) passed away. she was well above 80 with already a close brush with death once in the past and so this was not unexpected. even then the news came to me as a surprise and a little bit of shock coming as it did at 3 in the morning. bcoz of tht my mom left immediately on the next flight and my dad left soon after which once again left me all alone( my brother was there but we lead separate lives so tht was not so much of a problem) and it still is like tht as of today. my mom dad will be back by thursday after which life will get back to normal (normal meaning as it was when they r generally here- not good or bad or any such thing). food has been one problem these 2 weeks as i have had to shuffle from one place to another for lunches and dinners and also a lot of dinners in restaurants where 8 out of 10 times(yeah i have been to restaurants for dinner almost 10 times in 2 weeks) i have ended up eating pav bhaji. i hereby promise tht for the remainder of the pl i shall not touch pav bhaji and this is one promise i intend to keep( sounds familiar.........i say this all the time but it never happens so all the best to me). the confusion is because i have enojyed this little period where i was alone but i am not sure whether i was supposed to enjoy it bcoz of the circumstances which led to my being alone. tht is a question tht will probably never be answered and i am not sure whether i even want an answer now. whts done is done. if wht i have done is wrong then maybe someone close to me will also enjoy when i am no more but tht hopefully is a long way off so no point in thinking abt it rite now.
so in this fashion half my pl is over. it has been one really wonderful half pl again for reasons i cannot or maybe do not want to include here rite now. watch out for the reason later coz i am sure there will be one post explaining them tho i am not sure when tht will be.
academically also as i have already written earlier it has been good. how good is something tht only my results will tell and i do not bother a huge lot abt them anyways.
one final point tht i dont know y but i want to include here. this post is not a record of ne emotional hormonal psychological pseudo-psychological or ne odr such imbalance. in fact it is the exact opposite (which is also a kind of imbalance but not like the earlier ones which this blog is full of) and so this makes in 2 in a row tht i have written when i have been feeling good which is a good sign coz tht means i have not felt any such lows since a pretty long time which again confirms the fact tht my lows have something to do with the college and i am generally happier when there is no college. it is also a good thing for this blog coz it is no longer just a blaring record of troubled times but a true companion in all my good and bad times. phew!!!! tht was some final point.
i seem to have written a lot here. i think this is my biggest blog to date i am not really sure but i have just gone one writing whtever i have felt and so the size does matter.
once again i wud like to reiterate tht this is not a bedtime story and so is not meant to entertain. if anyone reading it(i dont knw y i am including this coz i dont knw many ppl who do, in fact i dont knw any who do) finds it boring or has anything to complain abt it he or she may do it at
The prime ministers relief fund
p.o.box no 11023
delhi-1
coz complaining abt it here is tantamount to bhes ke aage been bajana(again only for those who know hindi and i am not able to satisfyingly translate it in english) and if anyone is willing to do tht then be my guest.
till then
bye gn shubh ratri shaba khair and do take very good care of yourself(makes a very good good bye line even tho it has been directly copied).
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