Cant think of any title

hi
i am back and this time with a huge lot of stuff to write about.there is so much tht i want to put into this blog tht i fear tht a lot of it will be left out simply bcoz i forgot to write about it. of course the chronology of all tht i put in here is definitely not in any order of time, importance or any other parameter. so let the games begin........
to begin with, yes, i am on one of my periodic lows again. seems to me tht i think of this blog only when i am feeling low or depressed or some such emotional imbalance. somehow i never find the time or inclination to write in when i am feeling not so low( a high is out of the question coz i cant remember the last time i felt like i was on cloud #3 even (let aone cloud #9)). so as much as i try to avoid it, this blog ends up being a chronicle of all the lows tht i have been feeling since i have started blogging and now i think it is better tht i even stop trying.
at the root of this low , depression whtever u choose to call it, is the sme old culprit, engineering or my college or the people in it, i am not really sure. but one thing is for sure, it has sumthin to do with engineering. and so currently i hate, no despise, everything even remotely connected with it.
there is no comfort even in academics (read opening an engineering book and staring at it for hours on end without really assimilating anything). i used to think i cud use those seemingly unending lines of text as a possible solution to my dark moods. but this time even tht is not working. hasnt been working since days actually. i am not able to study at home and the library induces sleep before i can say abc.wht this means is tht this study leave will not be so rosy as my other ones and i will have to really slog it out then. so might as well gear up for it.
anyone reading this wud suggest tht if coll is a bore then stay at home. but even here there is a snag. the only things to do at home r study, play on the comp, watch tv(read keep switching channels) or sleep. all of which get boring after a really short period of time which is why getting home early is also discarded as an option.wht i wud really like to do is to get away sumwhere where there r no people outside of a select group for as far as the eye can see. being in mumbai i knw tht is sumthin which is actually impossible which is y i think the terrace of luv kush towers might be a nice place. i dont knw y but for one very brief moment when i was standing outside my classroom, i actually thot tht it mite just be a nice idea to try jumping (only for a very brief moment after which my senses got the better off me). but it just emphasises how much i long to be away from a lot of things, mainly people. i am basically tired of seeing all the sad faces tht my coll seems to have an endless supply of. people who r basically complaining or crying over sumthin or the other(even i do tht most of the times. its not their fault really). but its just tht currently i wud like to go away from it all.
then there is also vikram factor. i dont y but i just feel like hitting him whenever i see him. not like hurting or killing him kind of hitting but the playful kind of hitting. he doesnot seem to realise this and retaliates with all his might which often ends up hurting me. even rite now i have a mild swelling on my forehead which bursts into spasms of pain whenever i open my mouth to eat, yawn or do anything. so tomm onwards i promise not to touch him.
the current low tht i am going thru is different in the form tht it started during college hours, which is a first of its kind as far as i can remember( which is also not a very long time coz i cant remember a lot). it started sumtime in the CTSS lecture after which i just dint want to stay in coll which led to me missin my GD semis and also my soc event. and bcoz i had already exhausted all my options of things to do at home i ended up actually thinking abt wht i wud be writing in this blog today. sumtime during tht session, i had a feeling tht maybe these lows r bcoz of a desire to write sumthing. so i am not sure whether i am writing bcoz i feel a little down or i am feeling a little more than a little down bcoz i want to write. hope it is the former.
another really frustrating thing happening currently is the navratri festival bcoz of which a bunch of ppl who really wud not make gud bathroom singers even start blaring guju songs at the top of their voice forgetting even the basic fact tht they have a mike in their hand. all this and maybe somethings more which i am missing contribute to this being one of the more forgettable times of my life. just hope tht it gets over soon.
anways i think i am finally done with everything i wanted to say. hopefully i havent missed out on anything. if i have theres nothing tht can be done abt it so no point in doing anything abt it.
i knw this does not make for a gud read but it wasnt intended to be one in the first place. this as i said in the beginning (which is so long back tht u mite have forgotten it) a chronicle of my lows and nething tht i find worthy of mention so suggestions if any r definitely not welcome.